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Trauma Aware Birth: Safe Birth
Trauma-Aware Birth: The Safe Birth Series is a collection of posts exploring how emotional safety, nervous system regulation, and supportive relationships shape the birth experience. This series blends psychology, practical guidance, and trauma-informed education to help women and birth partners understand how past experiences, stress, and support systems influence labor, pain, and postpartum healing. The goal is simple: when a woman feels safe, she can trust her body & access her intuition.
20. The power of choice in Birth | How Autonomy shapes Safety, Trust and Healing
One of the most transformative aspects of birth is choice. Feeling in control of your body, your decisions, and your environment isn’t just empowering , it directly affects your safety, hormones, and nervous system. For women who have experienced trauma, choice is especially important. When decisions are ignored or overridden, the nervous system reacts with fear, tension, and stress , which can increase pain, slow labor, and reduce confidence. Why Autonomy Matters Science sh
Mafalda Oliveira
Feb 32 min read
19. Navigating Birth After Trauma: How to Reclaim Your Body and Experience
For many women, previous trauma , emotional, psychological, or physical , can resurface during pregnancy or birth. Past experiences may affect: How safe your body feels Your nervous system’s response to labor Your trust in yourself, your partner, or your medical team But with the right support and preparation, birth can still be empowering, healing, and reclaiming. Understanding How Trauma Shows Up in Birth Heightened Fear or Anxiety: Even small triggers can make labor feel o
Mafalda Oliveira
Feb 32 min read
18. Building Your Birth Support Team: Doulas, Partners, and Emotional Safety
Birth is one of the most intense experiences a body and mind can go through , and having the right support team can make all the difference. This is especially true for women who have experienced trauma or past abuse. A strong, trauma-aware support team creates emotional safety, reduces stress, and empowers the birthing parent to trust their body. Who Should Be on Your Team A Trauma-Aware Doula Provides continuous support before, during, and after birth Notices subtle signs o
Mafalda Oliveira
Feb 32 min read
17. Recognizing Red Flags in Relationships Before and During Pregnancy
Pregnancy is a time of hope and excitement , but it can also magnify underlying relationship dynamics. For women who have experienced trauma or are in controlling relationships, recognizing red flags early can be crucial for emotional, physical, and reproductive safety. Why Awareness Matters Your environment and relationships affect your nervous system, your stress levels, and ultimately your birth experience. Control or manipulation during pregnancy can increase cortisol, ma
Mafalda Oliveira
Feb 32 min read
16. The Role of Postpartum Support: Healing the Body, Mind, and Emotions
The birth may be over, but the journey doesn’t end there. The postpartum period is one of the most critical times for healing, physically, emotionally, and psychologically. How a woman is supported during this time can shape not only her recovery, but also her relationship with her baby and her overall sense of well-being. Why Postpartum Support Matters After birth, the body is recovering from intense physical work: Hormone levels are shifting rapidly Blood loss and tissue he
Mafalda Oliveira
Feb 32 min read
15. Supporting Birth Partners: How Their Presence Can Change Everything
A birth partner’s role can be more than just being present , they can directly influence the birthing parent’s nervous system, hormone flow, and overall birth experience. For women who have experienced trauma, emotional or physical, the right support can transform fear into safety, and overwhelm into empowerment. Why Birth Partners Matter Science shows that a partner’s presence and support can: Increase oxytocin release, which helps contractions progress and bonding with the
Mafalda Oliveira
Feb 32 min read
14. How Emotional Safety Can Reduce Pain Naturally | Lessons from Trauma-Aware Birth
When we think about birth, pain is usually the first thing that comes to mind.
Mafalda Oliveira
Feb 33 min read
13. Why Advocacy Matters in Birth | Especially for Women Who’ve Experienced Abuse
Birth is intense. But for women who have experienced abuse , emotional, psychological, or physical , birth can feel even more overwhelming. Their bodies carry layers of trauma, learned survival strategies, and nervous system responses that can make labor feel unsafe, even when supportive people are present. This is why advocacy in birth isn’t optional , it’s essential. What Advocacy Really Means Advocacy is not about taking control away from the birthing person. It’s about be
Mafalda Oliveira
Feb 32 min read
12. How Past Trauma Can Show Up in Labor | And Why You Need a Doula Who Understands
Birth is one of the most intense experiences a person can have , physically, emotionally, and neurologically. And here’s the truth many women don’t hear: Past trauma doesn’t stay in the past. It can show up in labor. Trauma Doesn’t Go Away Trauma comes in many forms: Childhood trauma Sexual abuse Emotional or psychological abuse Being unseen, unheard, or unsafe Chronic exposure to controlling relationships Psychology tells us that trauma is stored in the nervous system. The b
Mafalda Oliveira
Feb 33 min read
11. When Women Hide Their Fear in Labor | Why It Happens and How to Support
Not every woman screams in labor. Not every woman moans. Not every woman looks like she’s struggling. Some women hide their fear. And it’s often invisible to the untrained eye. Why Women Hide Fear Hiding fear is a survival strategy. If a woman has learned: expressing vulnerability is unsafe showing emotion leads to judgment, ridicule, or punishment she must be strong to protect others …then even in labor, her nervous system may keep her fear internalized. She may appear calm,
Mafalda Oliveira
Feb 32 min read
10. Emotional Safety as Pain Relief: Why Feeling Safe Changes Everything in Birth
Pain in birth is not just physical. It’s emotional. It’s neurological. It’s relational. And one of the most powerful tools a woman can have in labor is emotional safety. The Psychology and Science Behind It When a woman feels safe: Oxytocin rises. This hormone supports uterine contractions, bonding, and relaxation. Endorphins increase. These natural pain-relieving chemicals reduce perception of pain. Cortisol decreases. When stress and fear are low, the body can fully focus o
Mafalda Oliveira
Feb 32 min read
9. When a Woman’s Sounds Change in Labor | What It Can Mean
We often hear about “low, deep moaning” in labor. The kind of sounds that signal a woman is dropping into her body, surrendering, opening. And yes , those sounds can help. But what people don’t talk about enough is this: Sometimes a woman’s sounds aren’t low and grounded. Sometimes they are high, sharp, desperate. And that doesn’t mean she’s failing. It can mean her nervous system is in alarm. Labor Sounds Are Nervous System Sounds In birth education, we talk about how low to
Mafalda Oliveira
Feb 32 min read
8. Fear, Cortisol, and Stalled Labor: Why Your Body Won’t Open When It Doesn’t Feel Safe
There’s a truth about birth most people don’t talk about: Your body wants to birth. It knows how. It’s capable. But birth is not just a mechanical process. It’s hormonal. Emotional. Nervous system-driven. And fear can stop it cold. The Hormones Behind Birth When everything feels safe, oxytocin flows. Oxytocin is the hormone of love, trust, and bonding. It helps the uterus contract, the baby descend, and the mother soften. But when the body senses danger , fear, tension, emoti
Mafalda Oliveira
Feb 32 min read
7. Why Some Women “Can’t Relax” in Labor | And It’s Not Mindset
One of the most common things women hear in labor is: “Just relax.” And one of the most common things women feel when they can’t is: “I must be doing this wrong.” But here’s the truth: Struggling to relax in labor is not a mindset problem. It’s a nervous system story. Relaxation Is a Body State , Not a Personality Trait We often talk about relaxation like it’s a choice. Like a woman just needs to breathe deeper, think positive, let go. But real relaxation , the kind birth ask
Mafalda Oliveira
Feb 32 min read
6. The Nervous System in Labor: You Can’t Open When You Don’t Feel Safe
One of the biggest misunderstandings about birth is this: People think labor is something a woman does. But labor is something the body allows. And what allows birth to unfold smoothly is not just strength, mindset, or pain tolerance. It’s the nervous system. Birth Is Not a Performance , It’s a State Labor depends on oxytocin , often called the love hormone, bonding hormone, or hormone of safety. Oxytocin flows when we feel: safe unobserved emotionally supported not judged no
Mafalda Oliveira
Feb 32 min read
3. The Moment I Realized Emotional Safety Is As Important As Dilation
As doulas, we are taught to watch labor patterns. Cervix. Contractions. Baby’s position. Timing. But there was a moment in my own journey that changed how I see birth forever. A moment where I realized: A woman’s sense of safety matters just as much as her dilation. I Knew Birth , But Something Was Blocking Me When I gave birth, I already had years of experience supporting other women. I trusted birth. I believed in the body. But during my own labors, there was an invisible w
Mafalda Oliveira
Feb 32 min read
5. The Kind of Support I Needed , But Didn’t Receive
When people think about birth support, they think about labor. Breathing. Positions. The big day. But the kind of support I truly needed went far beyond contractions. And I didn’t fully understand that until I had to survive postpartum while rebuilding my entire life. During Birth, I Needed Emotional Protection In my births, I needed someone protecting more than the physical space. I needed someone protecting: my emotional safety my nervous system my right to soften my right
Mafalda Oliveira
Feb 32 min read
4. What I Wish Someone Had Noticed About My Relationship During Pregnancy
Looking back, there were signs. Not loud ones. Not dramatic scenes in public. Quiet signs. Subtle ones. The kind that are easy to miss , especially when a woman is already deep in survival mode. I was a doula. Educated. Aware. Supporting other women. And still… I was in an emotionally unsafe, controlling relationship during my pregnancies. The Person Who Saw It First My doula , who had been my client the year before , saw things I couldn’t fully see yet. On July 25th, 2018, I
Mafalda Oliveira
Feb 33 min read
2. How Abuse Affects Labor | From Someone Who Lived It
We talk a lot about birth positions. Breathing techniques. Hospital vs. home birth. But we don’t talk enough about this: The emotional environment a woman lives in during pregnancy follows her into labor. I know this not just as a doula. I know this as a woman who labored while living in an abusive, emotionally unsafe relationship. And here’s what I wish more people understood. Birth Is a Nervous System Event Labor isn’t something you “push through.” It’s something the body a
Mafalda Oliveira
Feb 32 min read
1. I Was a Birth Doula , But I Didn’t Feel Safe in My Own Births
I’m a birth doula. I had already been supporting women through pregnancy and birth for over three years when I gave birth to my first daughter. And a year and a half later, my son. I knew birth. I understood physiology. I believed in the body. But in both of my births… I didn’t feel safe. And that’s something people don’t talk about enough. You can have knowledge. You can have a care team. You can plan a beautiful birth. But if your nervous system doesn’t feel safe, your body
Mafalda Oliveira
Feb 32 min read
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